Dog Buddies

Meeting unfamiliar dogs is almost always stressful for a dog. In natural conditions, dogs would live in family groups and have few close interactions with unfamiliar dogs. But when they live with humans—especially in cities—the reality is completely different. Dogs usually live alone with people or maybe one other dog, yet they’re forced to encounter lots of strange dogs every day.

So maybe we should spare them that stress? Wouldn’t it be better to just teach them to avoid other dogs?

That’s exactly what many dog guardians do—and even what many trainers and behaviorists recommend.

If a dog is stressed by the presence of other dogs, the common advice is to teach them a cue to move away. Typically, the dog is taught this using treats, rewarding them for walking away from the other dog.

Most often, it’s adolescent dogs that get isolated from others.

Trouble with other dogs usually starts in late puppyhood or adolescence. That’s when dogs sometimes begin to react nervously or aggressively to other dogs, get into spats and arguments—and end up being cut off from dog interactions. This is also the age when dogs are most likely to lose their homes due to “behavior problems.”

Unfortunately, this strategy isn’t just ineffective—it can seriously harm the dog.

Treats work—but usually only in easy situations, where there likely wouldn’t have been a conflict anyway. Dogs quickly learn that if they see a dog who’s not a real threat, it’s easier to walk away and get a treat. But treats rarely help in tough situations. So the guardian ends up with a dog who only interacts with “scary” dogs and gets into fights, while never having positive experiences with other dogs. The dog learns that seeing another dog = inevitable conflict. And not just the dog—so does the guardian. Stress levels skyrocket for both.

Just like human teens, adolescent dogs have a huge need for social interaction. Cutting them off from other dogs can be devastating for their emotional balance. The longer the isolation lasts, the more frustrated their social needs become—and the more they start to believe they lack social skills. The dog begins to doubt they can handle another dog. The more intense the conflict between approach vs. avoidance, the greater the risk of an outburst. Fights lead to further isolation, and the vicious cycle continues.

Meeting unfamiliar dogs is stressful—but it’s not always a kind of stress that should be avoided. Adolescence is a time to gain confidence and learn how to manage social relationships in an adult role.

This whole dynamic is reinforced by common walking habits.

One type of walk is to take the dog to a dog park or field, where the guardians just stand around while the dogs “play.” But that play is often more like power struggles or even bullying. The dog learns that being around other dogs means high arousal and risk.

Crazy play is normal for puppies. Not so much for adult dogs—and especially not with strangers.

In dog parks or fenced areas, dogs don’t learn how to cooperate. Those spaces often encourage confrontation.

Dog parks and fields often become places where dogs are bullied.

Another typical walk is the on-leash walk—usually with a short leash or a flexi—where the dog meets others head-on, greets them briefly, and then moves on. So the dog learns that encounters = stress. The greeting itself is the most stressful part. Right after greeting, the dog could potentially relax and do something with the other dog—but they’re pulled away. They don’t build friendships—just keep meeting random dogs.

If a dog didn’t make any friends as a pup, they’re like a kid starting a new school. The social world seems scary, full of tension and risk. It’s easier to retreat into listening to commands or obsessively chasing a ball. Easier—but not better.

Recently adopted dogs are also often told to avoid dog interactions. And yes, there’s some truth in that. Shelter dogs often have had enough of unwanted dog contact. And after adoption, the dog already has plenty of stress—adding strange dogs to the mix can be overwhelming.

Meeting other dogs might be too much at first.

Every dog is different. Some need peace and quiet after adoption. Others are comforted and relaxed by dog interactions. For many, avoiding other dogs early on makes sense—but that should be temporary, not a lifestyle.

Dogs are social beings. Given the choice, they live in small groups of several individuals. An adult dog with a choice will usually have 4–6 dog friends. The younger the dog, the greater the social need.

If we’re dealing with an older dog who avoids others, it may be best to protect them from unwanted contact. But for younger dogs, it’s often better to help them build relationships—even if there’s some aggressive behavior at first.

Building dog friendships isn’t easy.

For a dog without any dog friends, the only way to make some is through meeting other dogs. It’ll be stressful—but with guardian support, it’s manageable. Aggressive communication—like growling—is normal and shouldn’t immediately scare the guardian off.

The guardian can help by finding stable, socially skilled dogs for interactions. It also helps to meet in large spaces, where dogs can choose whether to approach or walk away. If the dogs aren’t hostile, going on a walk together gives them a chance to do something side-by-side and cooperate.

Just like with humans—it takes multiple meetings and shared experiences to build a friendship.

It’s always worth trying to ensure a dog has a few regular dog buddies—dogs they know, like, and see often. Usually, when they have their social needs met, they can easily ignore dogs they don’t want to engage with.

Urban environments expose dogs to too many unwanted interactions—and that’s worth remembering.

Building dog friendships takes effort—but it’s worth the investment. A dog with friends and a stable social life is more emotionally balanced—and happier.

⸻

All the dogs in the photos managed to make positive connections with other dogs during the very same walk.