When a puppy cries…

Many people ask what to do when their puppy, who has just arrived in their home, whines and cries when left alone—even for a moment—let alone being shut in a crate.

First of all, we need to understand that the puppy has been taken away from its mother and siblings. Many puppies are separated as early as eight weeks, sometimes even earlier. Such early separation from the mother is a major trauma for a puppy. Wild dogs—if given the choice—usually stay with their family group for the entire first year of life.

Imagine what the puppy is going through when everything it knows and everything that calms it disappears: the scent of its mother and siblings, the sound of their breathing, their heartbeats, their presence. The mother’s touch, being licked—so vital for comfort and emotional balance—also vanishes. Familiar surroundings, familiar people, routines—all gone. Basically, everything that was familiar and comforting disappears.

Usually, when a puppy arrives at a new home, everyone pays attention to it at first. But very quickly, it’s left alone. No one is with it 24/7—because that’s not how we imagine raising a puppy. We want to live our lives.

Up until that point, the puppy may have never been alone. Now it finds itself alone in a strange place with no support. Is it really surprising that it cries, that it feels abandoned and desperate?

Many people instinctively try to help by staying close to the puppy, letting it sleep nearby. Then they often hear from trainers—or read in books (usually from the 80s)—that the puppy mustn’t be “spoiled” and should be taught to be alone right away. After all, people will soon need to go back to work and “normal” life, and the dog will be left alone for eight or ten hours. It has to adapt.

Puppy guardians are often advised to lock the dog in a crate, not allow it in bed, and to ignore its cries. The puppy usually does adapt—not because the situation becomes comfortable, but because it has no other choice. It gives up and stops crying, but the emotional trauma and the sense of abandonment will affect the dog for the rest of its life.

Isn’t it cruel to take a tiny puppy away from its mother and siblings—especially when dogs are naturally wired for social bonding and crave companionship—and then deliberately isolate it for hours every day, away from both people and other dogs? Dogs aren’t made to live in isolation. They’re not well-suited to sleeping alone either. Even adult dogs prefer to sleep with others nearby. They are social sleepers and sleep more soundly in a group.

Let’s try to give the puppy as much comfort as possible when we bring it home. Let it be near us. Let it sleep in the same room as other family members. Don’t lock it in a crate at night. Let it hear your calm breathing, smell your scent, feel your presence. Offer gentle touch.

As the puppy grows, it will naturally want to become more independent—choosing to explore on its own, wander further during walks, and spend time alone (a long line will come in handy). Let the dog choose the level of independence it’s ready for. And always give it a safe base to return to.

A puppy whose emotional needs are not ignored will grow into a more balanced dog—and a better life companion.

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